{{NSFW}}
Once upon a time, in the land of Duloc, there lived a boy whose name was Shrek.
Shrek was a good little boy and he always gobbled his vegetables right up!
It was Christmas eve and Shrek was so excited that he shit his stupid pants. When he went to bed he probably smelled like poop and pee.
Shrek is such a fucking loser.
He went to sleep and dreamed about Ganja plants.
He woke up at 4:20 AM because he had made a shit ton of pee on his bed because he is so fucking dumb.
He made more pee on his pillows then hopped out of bed to see if Santa was still chilling out at his house.
When Shrek went downstairs he saw Santa, and just stared at him. Like he had aspergers or something.
Santa dropped trou, and said:
"''Shrek, you are such a retard, dude.''"
And then ripped ass all over Shrek's living room.
Shrek threw up and passed out because he was so stoned.
Santa stole the rest of Shrek's dank. And blew some more ass in Shrek's face.
The end.
{{hrb}}
''Inspired by [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pc08xdiDWMs this].''